Whether you have spent the last year or the past decade dealing with overwhelming marital drama, the new year is a great time to center yourself and re-focus on what you want to accomplish in your life. Here are some ideas of helpful New Year's resolutions that can inspire you no matter which phase of the divorce process you are in.
1. Institute family meetings
Sometimes, small issues can be ignored until they become big problems, but holding a family council can eliminate that problem. If your ex is unwilling to participate or you are afraid you cannot be civil in front of your children, you may want to consider doing the meeting alone with your kids. You can talk about scheduling and how upcoming events will be handled to make sure nothing is missed as children go back and forth from each house. It is also a good idea to have a time when everyone can present issues that are bothering them so solutions can be suggested. You can have a separate meeting with your ex to make sure you are united in your parenting, or if possible, include him or her in your family meeting to show the children that you are a united front. If civil behavior is difficult, you may want to hire a mediator to help negotiate parenting strategies.
2. Decide your focus
What do you want to accomplish most? Your first thought may be to make your ex's new girlfriend jealous, but providing a stable atmosphere for your children probably comes first. Take some time to write down what will help you achieve your focus, and then evaluate if your words and actions are pointing you in that direction.
3. Create a divorce playbook
Your life will be filled with intense emotions for the next while, making it difficult to make logical decisions. Having a plan written down that you and your ex agree to will give you something to stick to when times get tough, rather than making heated decisions that may not be in your child's best interest. This is another situation where a mediator can be of service to help you both logically determine rules to stick to in your parenting. You may occasionally want to meet together to go over them and see if anything needs adjusting.
The start of a new year is a great time to set goals as you embark on a new life. By making smart goals, you will be better focused to get through the hard times and make the transition as easy as possible. Contact a family law attorney for more information about steps you can take during a divorce.