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Lance Armstrong, Custody and Divorce

You might be thinking how can I put Lance in the same sentence with the above topics. What I will say is that I know nothing about the sport of cycling or anything about doping. But what I do know about is how far a person can take their legal fight and when is the right time to call it quits.

Lance Armstrong said that he is tired of the ongoing investigation and is not taking things any further; he is waiving his right to go to arbitration. I'm not weighing in on whether I think he is right or wrong to do so. What I am weighing in on is the family court arena, where there are many individuals with divorce and custody battles who would do well to follow Lance's footsteps and call a cease fire.

Parents fight most viciously over the custody issues. This is expected - these are your children, your most precious part of your life. Why not keep fighting and fighting, wasting thousands of dollars and months of waiting? Aren't your children worth every last dollar? But don't forget, your children are in the middle of this war. Remember, they are half of you and half of your ex-spouse. If you trash your ex you are trashing your child, because he or she is half of your ex. Your children love your ex even if you do not. Every negative word you say now may be held against you later on.

Sometimes divorce property settlement causes ugly, dragged-out court fights. No one wants to say they were the one to give in on selling the house or allowing their ex to have half of the china collection; that shows "weakness". Does the phrase "it's the principle of the thing" seem familiar to you? You may spend more in legal fees than the collection is worth! Not a smart decision.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't fight to the bitter end if it is something you fervently believe in, or there is abuse involved. What I am saying is, stop and think about the costs: money, time, respect of your children, and your sanity. The costs may be too high for you to afford.

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