When you get a divorce, you must consider what is most important to you. Is it getting revenge on your spouse? What about getting specific assets, no matter the cost? Or is it doing what is best for your kids?
According to Pennsylvania laws, the court considers the best interest of the children in custody decisions. If you want the best chance of getting custody while saving money and having a more peaceful split, you should prioritize your kids as well. Here are some general pieces of advice for getting a divorce while reducing the emotional trauma for your children.
Put yourself in their shoes
The most effective way to make ideal decisions for your kids is to put yourself in their shoes. Consider how they may feel about the news of their mom and dad splitting up. Think about how they would feel if they see their parents fighting all the time. Depending on their personalities and ages, your kids may beg you to stay together, blame themselves, erupt in anger or isolate themselves. When you think about how your every decision impacts your children, you can make better choices.
Forget about fighting
Even if you feel a lot of resentment toward your spouse, battling out your divorce is not the way to go. Not only can this be traumatic for your children, but it also draws out the process and makes it more expensive. Your divorce does not need to be full of courtroom fights. An amicable resolution is always possible if both parties keep their priorities in line.
Encourage contact with the other parent
One of the core considerations the court makes is whether you encourage or even allow your children to continue a relationship with the other parent. This is important, absent any abuse or other immediate danger, of course. You may not love the other parent anymore, but your kids do.